Tired...

I am tired and exhausted.  It has been a full couple of weeks with school, and now this week with babysitting and trying to finish my classes.  I need to lean on the Lord for strength to make it through the next couple days and for focus to get everything done that I need to do.

I am reminded of the song Everlasting God ...

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord

Wait upon the Lord

We will wait upon the Lord

Our God, You reign forever

Our hope, our Strong Deliverer

You are the everlasting God

The everlasting God

You do not faint

You won't grow weary

Our God, You reign forever

Our hope, our Strong Deliverer

You are the everlasting God

The everlasting God

You do not faint

You won't grow weary

You're the defender of the weak

You comfort those in need

You lift us up on wings like eagles

Isaiah 40:27-31 (The Message)
God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall.  But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind.

"Words which do not give the light of Christ, increase the darkness."
                                                                                        - Mother Teresa

God's heart is for Every ONE...

God's heart is for Every ONE...He cares for the least of these. He loves you and he loves me. He loves the beggar sitting on the side of the road, the woman who is addicted to drugs and alcohol, the man who can't seem to fight his addictions. God's heart is for everyONE. If God's heart is for others, shouldn't our heart be for others too?

For the last several months I have been struggling with this concept in one particular area. I have a heart for orphans, I heart to see others know and love God, a heart for the broken, but something that has been tugging at my heart every time I see it, is the homeless. It might be the empathy strength in me, but my heart goes out for them. I can't imagine at the end of the night, not having a home to go to or a place to stay. Yes maybe some of these people have made some mistakes, but don't we all. We all mess up, and yet there is still grace and forgivenss in the hands of God. Each one of these individuals has a story...each one has hurts and pains, struggles,etc.

It's also easy for me to look at them and judge. It is so easy to point a finger and think you should have made different choices, and maybe you wouldn't be in this situation. But who am I to judge.

Part of the reason I have been struggling with this is that God's heart is for these people, and I don't know the best way to help them? Do they need money? food? clothing? etc (yes, yes, yes!). But is that the best way to help them? I don't feel called to minister to homeless people full time, but I do have a heart to help them, and show them the love of Jesus, and that someone cares. I think that is it...I want to show them that despite where they are at in life, there is a God who loves them, and intimately knows them, and cares deeply for them.
I think a lot of it is being obedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit, and sensing what He wants you to do.

Mother Theresa was an amazing woman, and I just stumbled upon this quote today from her:
"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat."
There is so much truth in her words.  We all desire to be loved and to be known by someone...

I have ignored them.  I have ignored that tug on my heart to help someone, and try to justify my thoughts or feelings, as sympathy/empathy for that person.  We can't help every one.  There is just too much.

I am just rambling on here, but I think the thing that I am getting at is that if God is tugging your heart with something, don't ignore it or let it go. He has a heart for all His people, and that tugging of the heart is his heart for others. I am convicted and am speaking to myself here as well, and need to take action.  If the Holy Spirit is speaking to you to do something, even simple and seemingly not significant, then we should pay attention to the leading and obey it.

Mother Theresa also said, "Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing."  You never know what just your smiling could do for someone?

I think of the verse where Jesus says, "whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me."  Who are the least of these.  When we help others in need, it is not about us or how we feel.  Yes, there is that feeling of satisfaction that you have done something to help another in need, but we should really be doing it to glorify God.  Really think about those words that Jesus said.  I think about those individuals representing Jesus.  They are precious, they have value and worth, they are loved...

I have been reading in James lately, and in James 1:27 it says:
"Religion that God our Father accepts as faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows and distress and to keep oneself from being poluluted by the world

Here are some other words...

Isaiah 41:17 states, "The poor and needy search for water, but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst. But I the LORD will answer them; I, the God of Israel will not forsake them."

Isaiah 58:6-7
If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and yournight will become like the noonday."

Matthew 25:35
"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in."

Matthew 19:21
"Jesus answered, If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. then come, follow me."

and finally 1 John 3:17-18
"If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with ACTIONS and in TRUTH."

What truth... Let us not love with words, but let it show in our ACTIONS. Love is an ACTION. God loves you, God loves me, and God loves others. How are we going to show His love to others today?


I-Heart Revolution
Here is a website for a community of people who share ideas of what they are doing to help others.  I-Heart is to bring inspiration, awareness and Connection to a community of people. Injustice is happening all around the world, and if we work together, the big things don't seem so big after all.  You should check this site out for more ideas and info...

                                                           http://www.i-heart.org/

Believing God...

Consider it all JOY when you fall into various trails, knowing that the testing of your FAITH produces PATIENCE, but let Patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.  If any of you lacks Wisdom let him ask God, who GIVES to ALL liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.  But let him ask in FAITH, with NO DOUBTING, for he who doubts Is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.

James 1:2-6

So easily I tend to doubt you Jesus.  There is power and healing in your name.  It can be hard to be patient and wait on you, but Lord in the waiting have your work and way in me.  I want to be complete in you.  I desire for your will to be done.  You freely give.  You are the maker of Heaven and earth.  You do not grow tired or weary.  You are a mighty and AWESOME God.  There is NONE like YOU.  

I am reminded of this 5 statement pledge from a Beth Moore study called Believing God:

1.  God IS who HE Says He is

2.  God can do what He says He can do

3. I am who God says I AM

4.  I can do ALL things through Christ

5.  God's Word is ALIVE and ACTIVE in me.

I AM Believing GOD!

Jesus I choose to Believe in you today!

What I've Been Listening To...

Here are some of the bands and artists I have been listening to lately are...

Absolutely LOVE this album!  If you have not heard of Audrey Assad, you should definately check her out.  Her lyrics and melodies are pure and convicting, honest and authentic!

                           

                           

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Some of the other artists that I enjoy listening to are: Brooke Fraser, Matt Wertz, Jonsi, Chasen, Rekapse, Hillsong United, John Mark McMillan, Bon Iver, Dave Barnes, Fee, JJ Heller, Kari Jobe, The National, Shane and Shane, and Phil Wickham to name a few...

Almost Done...

Almost done... yes I can say that I am almost finished with college!  (Insert excitement)  Yes, papers are slowly coming to an end, only two more exams to complete, and I will be done.  I have done nothing but school, school, school work the last week.  The countless hours and effort will definately be worth it when I take my final test of undergraduate school!  Yeah!

With almost being done, it means that I am closer to figuring out what is next.  I need to rest in Jesus, and trust in Him!  He will align my steps!

I have decided this week to start making goals: body+soul+spiritual

1. In the midst of the business I have neglected to exercise like I normally would.  So my goal for this week is to get at least 30-45 minutes of exercise a day.
2. Organize and prioritize...
3. Wake up and spend at least 10 minutes with Jesus to start the day.

Some other goals get together with friends, send out applications/resumes, spend some time in a coffee shop, and maybe do some reading (other than textbooks).

Jesus be in every moment of everyday.  Be the rock that I stand on, my firm foundation, and the light that I shine in everything I do!

Be faithful...

"Be Faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies." - Mother Theresa

Harney Peak...

A few weeks ago, my family went camping in Hill City, SD.  We decided to go hiking up Harney Peak.  Here are some of the pictures from the Hike...

SISTERS!!!

The Family...minus Luke

We made it to the top!  What a beautiful view!

Kels and I in the tower...

Dad and I taking a rest at the top!  It was such a beautiful day!

On the way down...

God, I am Willing, Use me....

I have been thinking about the Parable of the Talents lately...God gives us each special gifts and talents, and he wants us to use them.  The things, the passions and desires inside of us are not meant to keep to ourselves.  They are merely wasted and not being used for the Kingdom of God.  I think about those who have gone before.  What if they had not used what God had given them, and thought, maybe I won't try this, or I am not good enough in this area.  It takes courage to step out in certain areas, and it is not always easy.

In my life, I feel as though I have not been using what God has given me.  I have been so convicted lately.  The things that God has placed in my hands and in my heart - they are not being used to the fullest.  I have been so complacent, and thinking I don't really have anything to offer.  I have said this before...but God can work without me, but He chooses to use me and the things He places inside me (the gifts and talents, passions,etc) to help him advance His Kingdom on the earth.  I want to be used by God.  I want to take a step of faith.

I have been so complacent for so long, I don't really know what is inside of me, I don't really understand how God wants to use me.  I love being creative, I love music, I have a heart for helping people, I desire God and want to help others know Him more and know His word.

We all have something that we can offer.  God has given us everything we need to do what He has called us to do.  He has placed in each one of us gifts and talents, and his desire is for us to not hide them away, but to use them, and to honor him with what He has given us.

I choose this day to walk in the fullness of what God has placed in my hands and my life...What will you do?

Uncertainty, questions, and doubts...

I think its about time I blogged again.  It has been almost 3 months...wow!  I have to say these last three months, this summer has gone by so quickly.  I can't believe it's already August.  I have been taking two summer classes so I can finish school, and will officially be a college graduate!!!  Yeah!!!  It is so exciting, but yet somehow it is a little scary to me.  There is this whole new world full of no classes, but yes the "real" world of work and becoming an adult.  For so many years I have done school, almost  20 years I have been in school.

Now I am just weeks away from being done, and I have no idea of what I am going to do, where I am going to be, or what I want to do with my life.  So many questions, so many doubts.  People have been telling me, ' You have time to figure things out.'  In a way I do, but I also wish it would come a lot sooner than later.  I have so many ideas that are going around in my head, so many questions: should I stay in South Dakota or move somewhere else?  maybe back to Nashville?  I loved it there, but it is so far away from my family, and I don't have a job or place to live?  I could go somewhere else...Sioux Falls SD or another state.  I would really love to start somewhere new.  Somewhere where I could begin fresh, but than I look at my bank account and think, well I should probably make some money first.
A friend had talked to me about doing a 6 month internship in Australia at Focus on the Family there with her, and at first I was so excited, and it sounds great...but now I am not sure.

So many questions, so many doubts.  Not sure where to go.  Why is it that we as humans feel as though we need to figure things out on our own, or maybe it is just me.  I tend to want to take matters into my own hands and try to do things my way.  I have honestly been so distant from God over the last 6 months or so.  My desire for Him has not been there.   I have felt so dry, and really not wanting a lot to do with him.  Over the last 6 months I have maybe opened my Bible at the most 5 or 6 times.  I have not journaled or really prayed.  My faith or belief in Him has not gone away.  I don't really know what it has been.  There have been some days over this period of time that I have thought, I need Jesus.  I need Him in my life and I desperately want my relationship with Him to be the way that it was.  But then I get busy with my life, and those thoughts and feelings easily go away.  What I am finding is that I can exist without God, I can go through my life and enjoy it, but I do not fully LIVE.  I am not fully ALIVE, I am just merely existing, wasting another day, letting time tick away.

It would be easy for me to look back and regret things over the past 6 months or so with my relationship with God, but I am not going to do that.  I want to move forward.  My desire for him is still not there, my passion is not there, but I want to pursue him.  I know that this is a season, and I will eventually get through it.  But I have come to a point where I cannot just sit and wait until I feel something from God.  I cannot rely on my "feelings or emotions."  God is present with me and is moving in my life whether I feel him or not.  He wants to be actively involved in my life, and help guide me through my decisions and wants to be apart of everything I do.  He is always willing, but much of the time he is waiting for us to give him permission to act in our lives.  To live surrendered to his calling, to who He is, and all that He is in our lives.  God doesn't need me, but he made me and wants to use me.  He wants to use me to fulfill His purpose on this earth.  So many times I feel so inadequate, so small and unable; but I think that is how God wants it.  If I knew I could do everything or most anything in my own strength, I couldn't rely on Him.  It wouldn't be God working in me or through my life.  It is in my weakness that He is strong.

Right now, I am at a state of weakness, of uncertainty.  I don't know what my life will be like in the next month or year.  Each day is a new day, and is full of surprises.  It is easy for me to forget about God everyday, and choose to go my own way; but I need to let go of my pride, of my own selfish desires and give God control.  I need to let Him be God in my life, and allow Him to guide and direct my steps.  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways ACKNOWLEDGE HIM and HE WILL DIRECT YOUR STEPS."

God I want to trust you.  I want to be fully dependent on you.  God give me the desire for you, to seek you everyday of my life, and to not live in complacency and selfishness.  My life has no meaning without you.  God I want my life to be a reflection of you.  You are constant, you are certain, you never change.  God, I want to rest in you.  I am certain that you have great plans and purposes for my life and I can be certain that my future is full of good things.   I praise you for you have created me and you have formed me.  I praise you because you know me, and you know my way.